Dereck Balama is in! He did it. What's the opposite of an Uncle Tom? I want to be one! Hooray for Bork Bandera! Change we can! Change we can! I for one welcome our new negro overlord.
I began the day without a plan. I was going to watch wall-to-wall election coverage - that was a given - but I had no idea where. Luckily while I was sat on my ass reading the New York Times, sipping cafe au lait and eating beignets like an effete, European prince my friend was out and about. She spotted a poster for an Obama party at bar. They had an Obama cake and were promising "live, uninterrupted TV coverage until Obama wins". Although I thought this was a significant commitment (if he loses do we sit by the bar watching CNN until he stands again in 2012?) we decided to risk it.
I am forever indebted to my friend for spotting that poster because it turned out to be the alpha and omega of election parties. The politics nerd in me was scared that I would arrive and find the "live TV coverage" to be a single television above the bar showing the news with the volume off. I would be the angry killjoy, bent over a novelty cocktail (Obamamanhattan?) straining to lipread as Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer announce McCain the winner.
By the way: Wolf Blitzer - great name in journalism or greatest name in journalism? I don't mean his career and legacy. I just mean his name.
As is usually the case my hyperactive pessimism was uncalled for. For a start the party was in a small concert venue at the back of the bar. It held a massive projection screen showing CNN at full volume. The turnout was huge too - the place was filled to capacity by about 7.30, with between 500 and 700 people crammed in. During commercials the DJ - Soul Sista - played records and psyched up an audience who didn't need much psyching up. Excitement stemmed partly from the dawning of a new age of American politics and partly from the half-price drinks offer for anyone wearing an Obama t-shirt. Everyone was wearing an Obama t-shirt.
The mood was surprisingly serious initially. Most people really were there to watch the election - beer gripped in white-knuckled hand, cheering whenever CNN gave Obama an early projected lead in a close-run state.
What sticks with me after that was the feeling of momentum. Virginia? Take it. Pennsylvania? Yes please. Florida? Why not. Ohio? Keep them coming. Colorado? Well, I really am full but... go on then! It seemed to get louder and louder, faster and faster until that moment where it suddenly became mathematically inevitable and an enormous, screaming cheer went up in the bar, outside the bar, in the street and in all the houses in New Orleans as Obama's face flashed up on the screen. CNN Projection: Barack Obama elected President of the United States of America.
Interesting aside: on the same evening Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States of America, Michigan legalised medical marijuana. Coincidence, or early warning sign of Mr Obama's imminent "reefer agenda"?
McCain's concession speech was received politely, until the moment when he thanked Sarah Palin, at which point the crowd booed loudly. Despite the next day's papers which wrote admiringly of the Arizonan senator's speech I found it brittle - even by the standards of a loser's speech. And I like John McCain (a lot of people will be saying that now). Ok, true, he had just been crushed like a mummified scarab beetle under the caterpillar tread of some kind of allegorical tank which I can't quite make a metaphor out of at the moment. But come on. At least feign interest John. Had you won you would be forever known as the man who cock-blocked America's youth.
Barack made a great speech, but these things are his stock in trade. He's got a good rhythm to them: list things in threes, wait for applause, utter something profound and stare into the distance with a sense of grim purpose, smile winningly, repeat until palm of hand is crowded by audience.
What a fantastic first family. The Clintons and the Bushes are just dynasties - political brand names that just hang aound Capitol Hill even when they're not actually occupying the White House. Clintons and Bushes are to the White House what crack heads are to Super 8 Motels. Just hanging around there. The Obama household is one that you'd want to be invited to if you were at school with their kids. It's crazy that these guys are going into the White House. Good crazy! I'm not racist!
The evening got louder and madder as it got later and I remember at one point saying "I bet I can get on stage". Five minutes later I was actually up on stage giving what felt like a barnstorming speech, calling for a new dawn on Anglo-American relation. My drunken ego was reassured by the loud cheers from the audience whenever I left a "meaningful" pause. I was electric. Move over old man Obama - it's time for real change.
Sadly, unfortunately, my friend videotaped the whole thing and what you'll see if you watch it (and if you ask me I will show it to you - I'm that vain) is a semi-incoherent wino ranting nonsense with an unlit cigarette in his hand. At one point I just start shouting the names of European countries. Randomly. Worst of all I end by saying "God bless you, and God bless America... goodnight New Orleans!" as if I can't decide whether I want to be a politician or the singer of an 80s arena rock band.
And as for the cheering audience, well they were cheering so that must count for something, right? No. Consider I was the first person onstage after Obama's acceptance speech, broadcast live from Chicago. The audience were emotional, delusional and probably as happy as they'd ever been in their lives. I could have come onstage dressed as Robert Mugabe and read out the names of children killed by the Nazis during World War II and I still would have been received like Cicero addressing the masses at the Temple of Jupiter.
The rest of the night was a suitably epic melange of dancing, shouting and oath-swearing. After my historic speech I was something of a celebrity in that corner of the French Quarter and people would come up and pat me on the back saying "great speech!" or "we did it!" For some reason I thought it was funny to look them straight in the eye and calmly say "No, I did it."
One odd thing that struck me was this: Pretty much everyone in that room was wearing something with Obama's name or face on. There's that iconic Shepard Fairey HOPE one, a Geuxbama t-shirt which somone gave me, stickers with his name on in the style of the New Orleans water meters, a t-shirt with an illustrated Obama ripping open his shirt to reveal a Superman costume, and a huge number of personalised garments. Before Obama made his acceptance speech all these people (myself included), were rooting for an outsider, a part-counter-culture, part-mainstream figure that was being willed to succeed because people love him. And judging by some of the dancing a few of the girls there were doing with the life-size Obama cardboard cutout, they really love him. After he made that speech however he's the president-elect, and you have a room full of people dancing around, cheering and chanting the name of their actual leader. The only other country where this happens is North Korea. Not even the Chinese pretend to be that enamoured with their government.
But hey, who gives a rat's ass? I haven't even tried to hide my Obamaniacal tendencies over the past few months. It's nice to be part of something so big and so positive for a change. It's nice to be part of this big, weird group made up of young people, poor people and ethnic-minorities. Most of all it's nice that the first song they played once Obama finished his speech was Tear The Roof Off The Sucker (Give Up The Funk) by Parliament. Because isn't that what we all want? The funk? When George Clinton and his pals demanded: "We want the funk, Give up the funk, Ow, we need the funk, We gotta have that funk!" weren't they really saying ""We want universal healthcare, Give up the reputable foreign policy, Ow, we need the termination of Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, We gotta have that end to the infingements to constitutional rights in the name of homeland security and small government!"
Actually Barack is really missing a trick by not scrapping whatever he's using now as his entrance theme and using instead another Parliament track: Chocolate City. I don't know if those still-smarting McCain supporters would get as big a kick out of it as I would though:
And look there's Jesse Jackson crying his eyes out in the crowd. Didn't he want to cut Obama's balls off a few weeks ago? Maybe he's crying because he's out of a job. Cantankerous Civil Rights leader made redundant by sexy black president shocker!
Good night New Orleans!
Barack made a great speech, but these things are his stock in trade. He's got a good rhythm to them: list things in threes, wait for applause, utter something profound and stare into the distance with a sense of grim purpose, smile winningly, repeat until palm of hand is crowded by audience.
What a fantastic first family. The Clintons and the Bushes are just dynasties - political brand names that just hang aound Capitol Hill even when they're not actually occupying the White House. Clintons and Bushes are to the White House what crack heads are to Super 8 Motels. Just hanging around there. The Obama household is one that you'd want to be invited to if you were at school with their kids. It's crazy that these guys are going into the White House. Good crazy! I'm not racist!
The evening got louder and madder as it got later and I remember at one point saying "I bet I can get on stage". Five minutes later I was actually up on stage giving what felt like a barnstorming speech, calling for a new dawn on Anglo-American relation. My drunken ego was reassured by the loud cheers from the audience whenever I left a "meaningful" pause. I was electric. Move over old man Obama - it's time for real change.
Sadly, unfortunately, my friend videotaped the whole thing and what you'll see if you watch it (and if you ask me I will show it to you - I'm that vain) is a semi-incoherent wino ranting nonsense with an unlit cigarette in his hand. At one point I just start shouting the names of European countries. Randomly. Worst of all I end by saying "God bless you, and God bless America... goodnight New Orleans!" as if I can't decide whether I want to be a politician or the singer of an 80s arena rock band.
And as for the cheering audience, well they were cheering so that must count for something, right? No. Consider I was the first person onstage after Obama's acceptance speech, broadcast live from Chicago. The audience were emotional, delusional and probably as happy as they'd ever been in their lives. I could have come onstage dressed as Robert Mugabe and read out the names of children killed by the Nazis during World War II and I still would have been received like Cicero addressing the masses at the Temple of Jupiter.
The rest of the night was a suitably epic melange of dancing, shouting and oath-swearing. After my historic speech I was something of a celebrity in that corner of the French Quarter and people would come up and pat me on the back saying "great speech!" or "we did it!" For some reason I thought it was funny to look them straight in the eye and calmly say "No, I did it."
One odd thing that struck me was this: Pretty much everyone in that room was wearing something with Obama's name or face on. There's that iconic Shepard Fairey HOPE one, a Geuxbama t-shirt which somone gave me, stickers with his name on in the style of the New Orleans water meters, a t-shirt with an illustrated Obama ripping open his shirt to reveal a Superman costume, and a huge number of personalised garments. Before Obama made his acceptance speech all these people (myself included), were rooting for an outsider, a part-counter-culture, part-mainstream figure that was being willed to succeed because people love him. And judging by some of the dancing a few of the girls there were doing with the life-size Obama cardboard cutout, they really love him. After he made that speech however he's the president-elect, and you have a room full of people dancing around, cheering and chanting the name of their actual leader. The only other country where this happens is North Korea. Not even the Chinese pretend to be that enamoured with their government.
But hey, who gives a rat's ass? I haven't even tried to hide my Obamaniacal tendencies over the past few months. It's nice to be part of something so big and so positive for a change. It's nice to be part of this big, weird group made up of young people, poor people and ethnic-minorities. Most of all it's nice that the first song they played once Obama finished his speech was Tear The Roof Off The Sucker (Give Up The Funk) by Parliament. Because isn't that what we all want? The funk? When George Clinton and his pals demanded: "We want the funk, Give up the funk, Ow, we need the funk, We gotta have that funk!" weren't they really saying ""We want universal healthcare, Give up the reputable foreign policy, Ow, we need the termination of Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, We gotta have that end to the infingements to constitutional rights in the name of homeland security and small government!"
Actually Barack is really missing a trick by not scrapping whatever he's using now as his entrance theme and using instead another Parliament track: Chocolate City. I don't know if those still-smarting McCain supporters would get as big a kick out of it as I would though:
They still call it the White HouseOr how about Blackened by Metallica? Ha!
But that's a temporary condition, too.
Can you dig it?
Tell 'em to make sure they got their James Brown pass
And don't be surprised if Ali is in the White House
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE arts
And Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady
A chocolate city is no dream
And look there's Jesse Jackson crying his eyes out in the crowd. Didn't he want to cut Obama's balls off a few weeks ago? Maybe he's crying because he's out of a job. Cantankerous Civil Rights leader made redundant by sexy black president shocker!
Good night New Orleans!
1 comment:
I can't wait to see your speech.
And I will see it. No question.
OBAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAM!
Post a Comment