SPECIAL INAUGURATION POST

All good things must come to an end. But so do all bad things. Today Barack Obama becomes the first man with initials B.O. to take up the presidency of the United States and I become the first man to stop writing this blog. As I leave my post he assumes his. I hope that, like me, he does not get shot.

So because I'm eager to get this over with let's crack on with the "liveblogging" of the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States of America. BBC coverage all the way baby.

16:00 Huw Edwards looking severe. Old. I'm not sure I'm happy being represented on the world stage by a Welshman. Some footage of George W Bush slinking out of the White House for the last time flanked by a black guy. Huw tells us how cold it is in D.C. while Adam Brooks, the BBC Washington correspondent says the whole thing is "just breathtaking".

16:10 Huw introduces Obama's tort lecturer from Harvard and another academic. Are these our pundits? At least the lecturer looks like a film noir hero. There have been five references to JFK so far by the way. Matt Frei makes the patently untrue observation that although Obama is a gifted speaker no one can remember individual lines he's said in the past. I can reel off at least five. There was that one about hope and... uh, how we have to hope for stuff and shit. Then there was that one where he called Jeremiah Wright a bitch, I think. And loads more. I'm in the middle of something here. Ask me later.

16:15 The BBC is using a truly hideous background design that we are shown every time they cut to two cameras simultaneously. It looks like someone spat blood all over the screen.

16:20 Like everyone else watching I've just remarked on how old George Bush Snr looks. Look. Barbara Bush is having to wait for him to catch up with her. Suddenly we join Guardian columnist Hannah Pool who has been asked to explain what Obama's victory means to black people in Britain. No one ever asks me to speak on behalf of the black race.

16:25 Impressive crowd shot showing the reported nine billion people in attendance. Hooray, a man named Jon Sobel called the crowd "a sea of humanity". That old chestnut. Oh, George W Bush's face just appeared on the Jumbotron. And people are booing! Ha. Deep breath George. They can't hurt you now.

16:30 The Obamettes enter. They look just lovely. A "friend of the Obamas" tells us that the kids are "going to do just great" over the next four years. That's the kind of insight I tune in to the BBC for. Adam Brooks then tells us that "things are just about to kick off". By my calculations things don't "kick off" for another hour and a half Adam.

16:35 Michelle Obama dressed in... gold? No. I suppose that's lemon. Looking great as always. I like how she always looks respectful yet derisive.

16:36 Bush is approaching the sea of humanity! That's got to be a terrifying feeling for him. And understandably he looks anxious. Is it going to be like that scene in Gladiator where Maximus steps out from the dark, stone corridor into the glaring light of the Colliseum? We need a Ridley Scott 360 degree tracking shot of Bush blinking and looking up into the light as thousands of spectators boo and throw their shoes at him.

16:38 Dick Cheney looks somehow more sinister in a wheelchair. Michelle Obama basically stands eye-to-eye with Bill Clinton by the way. I wonder how Bubba feels about that? An announcer who's apparently borrowed his voice from the local NASCAR stadium introduces Bush and Cheney to the crowd and the president enters to Hail To The Chief for the last time. Am I only person who thinks that's an absurd piece of music. I mean, it kind of sounds comedic.

16:41 Our first glimpse of the man, the myth himself, now on the premisis. Obama is in the building. Looking focused. Looking intense. Looking... a bit like he's about to be sick? Is it my imagination or is he thinner than usual? Is it my imagination or have I just remarked on a minor fluctuation in the weight of a politician? But before Obama there must be Biden.

16:45 "Regular Joe" Biden. What a guy. As long as he keeps squinting and grinning everything will be alright. And then suddenly Barack Obama appears on the stage! We are treated with the first shot of a black person in the audience crying. The applause is deafening. Huw Edwards gets poetic. Evokes MLK. Diane Feinstein busts loose with some fierce rhetoric. The sole of someone's shoe hovers for a good five seconds above her right shoulder.

16:50 Pastor Rick Warren does his religious bit and, I think, does a good job. He pronounces Sasha Obama's name in the weirdest way possible though. SaSHA!

17:00 Aretha Franklin does her singing bit. Huw Edwards tells us she is the Queen of Soul in that same tone of voice BBC commentators use during Olympic opening ceremonies. "And now... we see dancers representing the twin elements of fire and water... and they look... simply remarkable." Oh, Biden's in everybody. Biden's in! So at this very moment do we have a Republican president and a Democratic vice-president? Somebody get back to me on this. Look at Biden. He needs a top hat and a cane.

17:07 Yo Yo Ma enjoying himself a little too much up there. Calm down Yo Yo.

17:08 Obama gets up to recite the oath. I feel nervous about him flubbing his lines. And then he flubbs his lines. To his credit it was apparently Chief Justice Roberts' fault for reciting the words in the wrong order. Still that didn't look great did it? Conspiracy theorists can now begin claiming that Obama never officially became president as he never officially took the oath. Do you see? DO YOU SEE? In any case Obama is now the new big cheese in world affairs.

17:10 The big speech begins.

17:30 Well I liked it. I was a bit underwhelmed at the halfway point. I thought he was pushing the stoic, no-time-for-smiles bit too far. However the moment the focus shifted away from "our challenges" and towards a more intangible, almost mystical patriotism I was gripped. The strongest segments to me were the passages addressing America's relationship with other countries. His message was one that Americans are desperate to hear: Let's show everyone what being an American is really about. Let's not beat people up unless it's absolutely necessary. Let's defend our culture against criticism, but at the same time let's hone and perfect it.

People are going to rave, if anything, about how somber the speech was and how it should be admired for its parity and restraint. I think these are the qualities to be taken for granted. What I believe made it a great speech was the sophistication of its message. Although the words themselves were rarely overtly poetic the actual picture being painted was a subtle and rewarding one. Where imagery was used it was used sparingly and with great effect. The line that sticks most in my mind was the one about offering an open hand if America's enemies were prepared to unclench their fists.

Did it deliver the one golden line historians were clamouring for? A line comparable to Kennedy's bit about doing stuff for your country, or FDR's assertion that fear was the only thing worth fearing? I don't know. Probably not. But I imagine Obama could have pulled out a line like that if he had wanted to. I think the idea of having one catchy slogan in the middle of the speech he ended up giving would have cheapened the product. At a push the line about "childish things" might be the one which ends up defining his inauguration. Or maybe the one about leaders being respected for what they build rather than what they destroy. Ultimately however this was a precise, firm declaration of national purpose, not a poetic flourish appended to his campaign.

There were at least three distinct kicks to George Bush's balls. The first was the statement about "restoring" science to its rightful place. I imagine this brought a tear to the eye of stem-cell research lab workers across the country. The second was the extremely eloquent comment about not sacrificing American ideals for homeland security. Thirdly he said, referring to America's relationship with other countries, that "power does not entitle us to do as we please". He may have been looking right at George Bush while wagging his finger as he said the last one.

If I had to sum up his speech I would say it revolved around the twin themes of hardship and reconciliation. A statement of anti-hubris. What made it doubly affecting was the antidote that Obama proposed was plainly one of love over hate - something which sounds unbelievably drippy when written down like this.

17:40 Adam Brooks makes superficial observations about how "grim" and "resolved" the speech was. We'll forgive him though. He's only had a couple of minutes to think what to say.

17:55 Dick Cheney is thrown into the back of a car. Goodbye you snarling, cold-hearted psychopath. The cold, impersonal limosine is an apt vehicle to drive him out of our lives.

17:58 Chris Hitchens' voice is suddenly in my ears. What's going on? Is he drunk? Hard to tell. His first comment is about the fear of Obama being assassinated. Thanks for bumming out all the BBC's viewers Chris. Hitchens then exposes himself as an Obama groupie by gushing about how "presidential" he looked giving his speech. That's pundit-ese for "hot" I believe. They obviously got Hitchens in to play devil's advocate and piss on everyone's parade but he's refusing to do so. Good for you Chris. Join the love cult.

18:00 This is the point at which I cease being interested. Someone is reading out the worst poem I've ever heard. It's distinctly less poetic than the speech that came before it. Well done event organisers, you've ensured the next generation of Americans will hate poetry.